Why is it such a boost when my panties match my cami, even tho I know no one is going to see them?
So, I wasn’t ready to come out to the closest straight men in my life. I knew *logically* they would accept it for the most part, but there was still that fear of rejection and judgment.
Circumstances made that decision for me. I had to come out to my brother because there’s no way I can move my stuff without him, and he’s gonna see all my dresses and shoes. It went great. Then I had to come out to my adopted sister’s husband bc I can’t have one brother knowing and one in the dark. It also went great. Then my Mom started urging me to let her tell my Dad (we had already decided she should tell him; my Dad’s initial reactions to things aren’t often what he ends up feeling once he thinks about something) so he can understand part of what I’m going through with this whole move/mortality situation. So she told him, and he not only was OK with it, he told her he had a feeling something was up but he didn’t know what or why.
So, in a matter of days, my IRL circle of support has grown by almost half. It’s really liberating. And knowing I can be me in my little space without having to worry about people wondering wtf is up if I take awhile to answer my door is amazing. Last night I felt comfortable enough to sleep in a nightgown again. I’m not ready to present in front of the family, but knowing they’re ready for it when I am means a lot.
Sisters (and brothers with interest in more extreme grooming), I am a convert, here now to preach the glory of sugaring!!
Yeah, it kinda hurts a little. But it WORKS. Applying the paste pulls the hairs a bit, but actually snapping the paste off hurts less. I’m an ample gal, so it wasn’t always easy to keep my skin taught (which makes the snap off more effective and hurts less). The after-wards pain is literally no more than a really mild sunburn, exactly comparable to what I feel when I’ve used Nair. I did my stomach because that’s my hardest area to deal with (shaving irritation, you understand). I have to let my chest hair grow out for a couple days; it’s too short right now. The result is totally hairless, perfectly smooth exfoliated skin. Divine.
I won’t rehash the 2,417 blogs and videos out there. I’ll just hit some tips:
- Some of the tutorials on home-making paste out there talk about using the color of the boil to know when it’s done. Bad idea. Chemically, you’re making candy. Color is a function of how hot, how fast, for how long. Consistency is a matter of highest boil temp. I went for halfway between soft ball (~240F) and hard ball (~260F) stage. If you want it darker, use lower heat which takes longer to get to temp but caramelizes the sugar more. If you want it done faster, use higher heat and be prepared to pull it off the heat as soon as it reaches temp. Mine came out a touch lighter than honey. Once I worked it a bit in my hands, consistency was perfect. As you go and the wad fills with hair, I can see how darker paste is less gross looking
- Think about your container before you start. I grabbed a 1qt mason jar. When all was said and done, even though it was a wide-mouth, I couldn’t get my hand down in it to get the paste out and had to use a butter knife. Whoops.
- Keep the area you’re working powdered but your hands clean as a you go. I had problems with sticking that turned out to be because I was getting talc on my hands as I went. Rinsing my hands in warm enough water to melt the sugar paste worked wonders; light dry on a towel and back at it. A little bit of moisture did not affect the paste’s stickiness at all (well, one time it did but kneading the paste wad for a second took care of it)
- I think I’m going to get a big soft makeup brush to distribute talc as I go
- Keep your skin taught. Really. Did I say that up there? Yes. I’m saying it again because it’s probably the most important thing I learned. Makes such a difference
- Follow-up. I used witch hazel after and make sure you have a good lotion with aloe around
I knew the first time I shaved that it was right for me. But OMG it’s such a pain. And I put it off, which makes it worse. And my body hair doesn’t have a simple grow direction- it’s like every hair is trying to be a special little snowflake and choose its OWN direction in life. I was turned on to sugaring by a friend via a YouTube video. I looked at some options online for kits but the ones that were supposed to be the best according to one source arrived in unusable states according others. And I don’t have $20 or more to waste.
But I do have a kitchen. And it’s just simple candy (and knowing that, the folks receiving kits that are too soft to use are probably getting ones that weren’t held at the right temp in transit). And I found a lot of DIY guides. So my first batch of sugaring paste is cooling on the counter right now. Here’s hoping it goes well. Can’t be worse than shaving, has to last longer than Nair. And shaving.
And my purse isn’t here yet, BTW. Grrrr, international delivery.
So, as you dear readers know, I’m like totally in the closet. 12 people who know me in real life know that Kelli exists. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to hide, but for now my life is much, much easier if I keep this on the down-low and there’s too much at stake to risk it.
But I wish I could flaunt it. So, I do little things. I’ve had more ear piercings, I wear my hair long. Nothing that makes any difference if you didn’t know, but *I* know. It helps.
So I’ve found a “handbag” I like. It doesn’t look like a handbag, and having to keep meds with me and whatnot it makes sense that I’d have a bag, but in my head and heart it’s totally my purse. Yes, I know purses aren’t inherently feminine and there are lots of cultures where men carry bags. Don’t harsh my mellow. I’m getting a purse.
Inside, it’s leggings weather. Yay!
Outside, it is not yet “keep my leggings on under my jeans because it feels better and I’m still “dressed” kind of even tho it’s hidden” weather yet. 😦
. . . sucks.
Having space for all my boy AND girl clothes without pushing my partner’s stuff out of the way is awesome, tho. Now to organize all my jewelry and shoes.